Flashback Soberistas blog from 10 months sober
OK, so maybe the next month and a half will be a bit harder than I anticipated! By way of a bit of background in every year of my adult life except the two when I was up the duff, from basically now until 1st January was always open drinking season for me. One of the reasons I love being sober so much is the freedom from all the ‘rules’ I surrounded my drinking problem with and the constant aggravation they caused me. Feeling beyond stressed but it not being a pre-designated ‘respectable to drink’ time so feeling deprived and so ten times worse – urgh. SO glad to be shot of all that bollocks.
But in the name of festive cheer all that went out the window at the same time the Christmas lights started appearing in the shops and it was like a month and a half long party. OK I definitely won‘t miss the hangovers but I am missing that feeling of it being a special, exciting time of year (and yes as the mum of two small children I know how fucked up that mindset is). Suddenly booze seems to be everywhere. Adverts are a total nightmare, friends, acquaintances and colleagues who normally never mention drinking are suddenly banging on about it all. the. sodding. time, the supermarkets are full of sparkly, festive looking displays of booze. Nights out with people I don’t normally socialise with are looming and I don’t want to get pegged as a killjoy and judged by people who might not take the time to get to know me if they make that initial assumption that I’m boring.
I love and cherish my sobriety. I could spend an hour writing now about how many good things ditching the drink has brought to my life, is still bringing every single day. I will go to the ends of the earth to protect it. But I just wish being sober was more accepted – that everyone would accept that I can have just as good a time at the Christmas party as everyone else (let’s face it better than many). For there to be less of a complete saturation of our society with the stuff. To feel less at odds with what feels like the whole bloody world at this time of year.
So. I’m taking a stand against the Christmas booze bullshit and I have a plan (which always makes me feel better).
1. I’m designating the month of December the month of sober treats. All that money I spent on getting festively trollied and feeling like utter shit come January is going on things that will truly benefit me. A massage and a facial, new books, sparkly nails done. I’m sure I’ll think of more soon. Ooh and a trip to Edinburgh to meet some fabulous Istas!
2. I’m buying the sparkliest top I can find and I will go to my Xmas dos with my head held high and show all the people in my life just how totally fabulous a sober girl can be. I will proudly and unapologetically say ‘I don‘t drink’ if I’m asked. I will ask ahead about AF options and complain if they are crap. I will drive home in my beloved new car and wake up in the morning feeling on top of the world.
3. I‘m getting the drinks in – as I live in Manchester I‘m lucky enough to have the Alcohol Free Shop on my doorstep. I‘ve set aside a Saturday morning to go and stock up on some decent AF sparkling wine and beer, I’m getting some Seedlip spice and I’m making AF mulled wine. I’ve ordered the Dry mocktails book. With a bit of planning ahead I don’t need to have a single moment of feeling left out when others are having ‘special’ festive drinks.
4. I’m going to also make December the month of hygge and self care. Cosy times with my family with no hangovers spoiling the days, really appreciating the moments with my little ones and making Christmas magical for them. Wintery walks on crisp bright days in my new bobble hat. Hot baths with my Christmassy candles. Cooking delicious warming meals. Singing gorgeous Christmas songs with my choir. Trying my hand at some hygge crafts (I’ve bought a book on that too, told you I was going for it with the sober treats!). Netflix box sets and early nights with my beloved…. hot water bottle (and OH too I suppose 😉).
5. I’m going to really look after myself (tons of self care and self compassion) but also try and think of others more too. Give back a bit more, give food to the food bank, help out with any local charity stuff going on, take my neighbour (a pensioner on her own) some lovely biscuits and invite her round for a mince pie on Christmas eve, cook Christmas dinner to give my Mum a break. Think about the real meaning of Christmas.
And reading that back it just sounds absolutely lovely. Like a Christmas movie which, now I come to think of it, don’t generally feature 40 year old mothers of two staggering around pissed out of their faces or hungover and grey for a month and a half. So the next time I see an advert, or a Facebook post or have a conversation that makes me start feeling crappy about the forthcoming festive season I’ll read my list again and remind myself that just because the rest of the world has been fooled into thinking that drinking poison = fun and happiness, I know better now. And I’m taking a stand against the boozy bullshit and will have myself a properly merry little Christmas. And let my heart be light.
Who’s with me?
