A Sober Easter in lockdown

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A Sober Easter in lockdown

This is my fourth sober Easter, which I just can’t quite get my head around. As I quit drinking in February 2017 it was my first sober first. And it just goes to show how ever present booze was in my life that something like Easter – more commonly associated with eggs, chocolate, baby animals, flowers and, of course, for Christians, more spiritual concerns – was for me yet another excuse to imbibe. Before we all became parents my friends and I had a tradition…Continue Reading “A Sober Easter in lockdown” →

Lies the wine witch tells – and the truth behind them

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Lies the wine witch tells – and the truth behind them

It seems to me that our old friend the witch of the wine is loving the current COVID-19 situation. At three years sober I’ve not been troubled by her at all for ages – probably about a year, maybe a bit more. And yet, in the last week, she has suddenly made several unwanted appearances in my mind. I’m in no danger of drinking, don’t worry (I’m in self isolation with two children and no booze in the house and, apart from anything else, it…Continue Reading “Lies the wine witch tells – and the truth behind them” →

Three Is A Magic Number

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Three Is A Magic Number

Three is a magic number. When my now six year old was a baby I used to play that song to her and dance round the living room. I sing it again to myself in the car sometimes now my two girls and I have become a mini family of three. I am an only child so my family of origin is also a three. Three in a lot of ways is my normal. And now I am three years sober. It is three years…Continue Reading “Three Is A Magic Number” →

Let it be easy

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Let it be easy

I read this phrase recently in Tara Mohr’s excellent book Playing Big and it gave me a bit of a lightbulb moment. Like many people, I suspect, I started my sober journey expecting it to be Very Difficult. Everyone says so after all. If you follow the AA approach you have to work the Twelve Steps, there are mantras like ‘it works if you work it’ and you have to stay constantly vigilant because you are only ever one drink away from disaster. You have…Continue Reading “Let it be easy” →

10 things I love about sober Christmas

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10 things I love about sober Christmas

I wanted to distract myself from the political DOOM facing us in the UK today. Which resulted in my six year old daughter bursting into tears at the school gate saying ‘I don’t want the baddies to win Mummy’ due to an ill-advised election related convo on the walk to school. Which, to be honest, I had no idea how to respond to except to feel like joining her. Urgh. Anyway to cheer myself, and hopefully others, up, here are ten things I love about…Continue Reading “10 things I love about sober Christmas” →

Let go of the process

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Let go of the process

I realised something last night, when I was on my way to perform with my choir at a charity ball. While I was getting ready to go out my six year old daughter, who has just joined the children’s branch of my choir, was quizzing me about it and she referred to me as a ‘singer’. And as I drove to the gig I was pondering this and suddenly thought ‘fuck me, I am a singer’. Which is something which would have been pretty high…Continue Reading “Let go of the process” →

1000 days of freedom

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1000 days of freedom

Well, this feels surreal. When I was about 100 days sober, perhaps not even that, I read a 1000 day blog on Soberistas and just thought ‘wow’. It seemed so impossible, even a few months in to my sobriety, riding high on my pink cloud, that I could ever make this thing stick for the proper long term like that. In this world which loves and glamorises alcohol, living my life which is so privileged in lots of ways but also pretty stressful and full…Continue Reading “1000 days of freedom” →

400 days – 40 things I do now that I didn’t when I drank

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400 days – 40 things I do now that I didn’t when I drank

Flashback Soberistas blog from 19 months sober 400 days sober today! It feels really significant to me, I guess because on the AF100 thread we make a big deal of the 100 day milestones, and also because I stopped drinking two days after my 40th birthday so the number 4 feels important to my sobriety somehow.  So, to mark the occasion, here are 40 things I do now, that I didn’t do when I thought my best friend was wine: 1. Wake up with no…Continue Reading “400 days – 40 things I do now that I didn’t when I drank” →

A true story…

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A true story…

Image credit Melanie Wasser at www.unsplash.com Imagine you were in an abusive relationship which was literally destroying you – your self esteem, your physical and mental health, your strength, your bravery, your ability to laugh, to make good decisions, to trust yourself. Everything good in your life. Imagine you gathered all your remaining courage and kicked the violent fucker into touch, you got free somehow, you rescued yourself. You got yourself in a position where the only way he could hurt you again would be…Continue Reading “A true story…” →

You’re already there (but it’s ok)

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You’re already there (but it’s ok)

Photo credit Ashley Batz at www.unsplash.com My sober bestie shared an article with me today which wasn’t actually about sobriety, it was about coming to terms with being alone, but the first point in it gave me one of those moments of ‘oh fuck YES’ that I’ve had on and off throughout this crazy sober journey. It said this: You are, to a far greater extent than you perhaps realise, already alone. The condition you fear will happen has already happened. To be formally alone…Continue Reading “You’re already there (but it’s ok)” →