FAQs

Q When did you stop drinking?

A 19th February 2017 – the morning after my 40th birthday night out. Yes, it was a VERY bad hangover.

Q Are you an alcoholic?

A I don’t use that terminology about myself or others who struggle with alcohol addiction. However, I was definitely strongly psychologically addicted to alcohol and had an off switch once I started drinking which was very much (for want of a better word) fucked. If you think that makes me an alcoholic then that’s cool, I don’t care. I don’t personally find the term helpful though. And, although I have done a lot of reading about Twelve Step programmes and I have probably implemented the main elements of them in my recovery journey anyway, a formal Twelve Step approach is not how I got sober.

Q Do you ever have even a sip of an alcoholic drink?

A No, and I don’t take medicines like cough syrup or even use mouthwash with alcohol in it or eat desserts containing uncooked alcohol (although I am still mourning tiramisu a bit). When I was eight months sober I inadvertently ate a cake that had alcohol in it and I was so freaked out that I made myself throw up in a train toilet. Which says it all really! I know how my brain and body react to alcohol and I don’t want to mess around with that. It’s honestly not a case of being deprived though (except perhaps of tiramisu). I don’t avoid drinking alcohol like you avoid eating chocolate cake for breakfast. I avoid drinking alcohol like you avoid drinking oven cleaner.

Q Can you advise me on how to moderate my drinking or drink mindfully?

A Nope – totally not an option for me. I have no clue how anyone gets from problematic drinking to a place of being happy with a more moderate alcohol intake. Getting to a place of happy sobriety, on the other hand…

Q Did you always know you were going to quit forever or do you take it one day at a time?

A A bit of both. The idea of forever scared the bejesus out of me at first but I also knew this was more than just ‘not drinking today’ for me. I can’t predict the future but as things stand right now I have zero desire to ever drink again and I work very hard to maintain my happy sobriety because it has been so utterly life changing for me, in such a positive way.

Q Do you miss drinking?

A Honestly, no. I really truly don’t. There are times when I would like to numb out from reality, sure, but even then I don’t want to drink. I did at first sometimes though so don’t worry if you do, it really does pass. It has for every single long term sober person I know.

Q Are you opposed to AA and the Twelve Steps?

A Not at all. I think all paths to sobriety are valid as long as they work for the individual and I have a lot of respect for the good work done by AA which has saved and immeasurably improved so many lives. That said, I think the concept of the ‘alcoholic’ is outdated and keeps a lot of people who struggle with their drinking feeling trapped because they don’t want to have to self-identify as an alcoholic and they don’t know there is any other way to stop drinking, just like I didn’t until I read Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind.

Q Do you think everyone should stop drinking?

A No. I think enforced prohibition or temperance would cause much more harm than good, as the history of prohibition in the US and today’s war on drugs starkly illustrates. Do I think everyone would be pleasantly surprised how much better their life was if they stopped drinking? Yeah, a bit! But I also strongly believe in self-determination and freedom of choice so really whether other people choose to drink or not is bugger all to do with me.

Q Do you still socialise with people who are drinking and does it bother you if they get drunk?

A Yes of course! And no, not anymore. There were some challenges at first but it’s just a readjustment process. And a case of knowing when that tipping point comes and the best of the night is over.

Q On Day 1 of your sobriety did you believe your life was going to get better because you stopped drinking?

A Hell no! I thought it would be dreadful. It was the thing I had feared the most, my worst case scenario. But the positives started racking up surprisingly early and just kept coming. I’m still finding new ones at two and a half years in.

Q Is your life really truly better now you’re sober?

A Yes, yes, yes. I promise. In ways I couldn’t have even begun to predict while I was still drinking. It is the best thing I have EVER done for myself by miles.

Q What are you trying to achieve with Sober Positive?

A First and foremost I want to share everything I’ve learned on my sober journey, in the hope that it will help people who are struggling with their drinking (just like I was for so long) to get to the place of genuinely joyful sobriety that I have been lucky enough to reach. Also I would love to see in my lifetime a cultural shift in society, where alcohol is less glamorised, its harms are less minimised and the stigma attached to alcohol addiction and recovery is reduced to the equivalent of someone quitting smoking. Because it is exactly the same thing. I don’t think drinkers should be stigmatised either, I just want the ridiculous notion that there is something ‘wrong’ with people who become addicted to the addictive drug alcohol to be banished forever. This is starting now and if Sober Positive can help with that in any way I will be thrilled.

Q Does the rainbow symbolise anything?

A Why yes it does, thanks for asking! The rainbow symbolises the unexpected gifts of sobriety, coming after the miserable rain of problem drinking. And the fact that I designed it myself, having once received a 13% grade in art at school for a drawing of what was meant to be a shoe and a plant but looked infinitely more like a fish and a terrifying mutant spider… Well, that’s all the proof you need that anyone can achieve anything they put their mind to in this life, as long as they believe in themselves enough.